For you who have to work, find as much time as possible to spend with your daughter. Best of luck. I feel so down. After a mid year holiday I started a new term and now she seems to pretty much loathe me when I get home and quite frankly it is breaking my heart. Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. She's 9 weeks and we started introducing at 4 weeks. I come from work and he doesnt care if I am there I feel horrible because if my sister comes he gets so so happy and he crawls so fast to her and he wants her to carry him I get so sad but I keep it inside until tonight I just couldnt I cried and thought does he not love me? The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. My mother in law lives in my basement suite and looks after my son 2 days a week, my mom looks after him 1 day a week. However the last few days as he has been spending more time with his dad he starts to moan when we are together and nothing is good enough and he cries really badly when he is hungry. Im a married mom with a 14 month old son who is obsessed with his dad and treats me like garbage a lot of the time. bottomline she just wanted my husband.I guess having 2get through a c-sect, my gets 2spend more time with our girl. Toddler Milestones. By the way, take a look at these two articles regarding avoiding power struggles at meal time and childrens eating habits to see if they may offer any help regarding making your daughter eat. It might be worth trying too. in the meantime I feel like a monster that frightens her ??! Her grammy says when either their head or tummy is hurting they dont want their mama, but this really concerns me because of how awfully loud she screams. I dont know what to do. While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. I am a stay at home mom with an almost one year old baby girl. Take care of yourself during this time. It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? We now understand that this is just a phase and will follow through on your suggestions, Well i am very upset these days my problem is when i use to come back from home my baby didnt comes to me he goes to everyones hand except me i use to cry at night daily of this reason i have fear that he will forget me forever and the attachment will not develop between me and with my baby in 24 hrs he use to come in my hand for only 1 hr.Will my baby forgets me forever or will not i use to wait daily for him at office to meet him as soon as possible but he doesnt gives any reaction to me when i come to home,i am very tensed please give solid solution as he is closed to his grandma and with my brother-in-law. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. Join her in her happiness when dad come home and let her know that her love of dad is OK. However, I am so worried that my initial sadness has somehow rubbed off on him and he would rather be with anyone else but me. I am so sorry to hear about your situation and your pain. Must be very painful for the mother. I say with us because me and her father are engaged and living together. Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. Who would have thought that a tiny little mite like her could devestate me. Right now, all she really needs is love, skin contact and food. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. I cant help having my heart broken. I encourage you, because Ive been there, to seek help if youre struggling with depression. Recently my sis in law has come back after her long leave.. my son of 3 years has totally changed seeing his aunt.. since she is at home now, i leave my son with her when i am at work.. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. He will go to my parents or my husband before he would come to me. I think for young babies, being reminded of the other parent can be too painful to endure. That is not to say that you dont have a real problem. Consider using an Supplemental Nursing System to supplement. Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. She is not a competitor and never will be only you are his mom! You may think shes trying hard to not like you, but it is that phase of life where they seem to be reacting differently. Do you hug, cuddle, and laugh together? Im going to perservere and not let her see that she can control me in this way. My partner goes away and when I am on my own we have a perfect routine and daddy comes home, she hits me and pushes me away. My 20 month old is very particular to the fact that he doesnt need me! Try to not show any hurt feelings if she goes to her grandma; she obviously isnt doing it to hurt you and may become quite confused if she can sense your irritation when it happens. He will go to Nursery without a second glance and to any family or friend without so much as a look of concern over to me. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. thanks again! I am feeling so rejected and lonely. If the baby doesn't like this, try again later. I guess i am being silly. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. Especially when I have been up all night with her or cooked for her or played with her all day..etc. I get up with him in the middle of the night when Im so tired I could die. I try so hard singing songs, playing games etc, but it seems to make no difference. From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. Hopefully Ill be able to post later and say that things are different. Most likely, your son is going through a phase when he is turning out towards the world. I was always there for him. My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. That's where you come to her rescue and change all that with this gift for a mom going back to work. Can someone please advise me on what to do? He even prefers strangers arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy. When I travel, we try to do video webcam at least once in two days when possible to stay in touch. it really was beautiful. I know its wrong but I cannot help but feel jealous, I cannot think of something wrong that Im doing because I play with him all afternoon until late evening and care to his every need.. I used to have a very tight relationship with my parents. But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. Plan pumping while at work. I have always been very close to my 18 month old girl. For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. I have a 11 month old little girl. She was with me mornings and nights. there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . Laura, youre not silly, youre human! Talk to your employer to determine the frequency and length of federally-protected pumping breaks. Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. At first I thought I was imagining it, but after doing a few experiments I had to admit that he really didnt want to be around me. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. Im a single 18 year old mother who still lives at home with my parents and siblings. She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. Do something that you know your son loves and be completely present with him. I do everything to. I think she knows that her father always comes back when Im around. Thanks for everyones honesty as a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and Im going to try really hard not to take it personally from today on! He cant be without her for even a minute. Some things you can try to reconnect faster are to: Laugh together! When she was 5 months old, daddy came back.the moment she saw my husband at the door was a funny one. First thing to remember is to feed the baby. And Im 14!! Warming the nipple (just run it under warm water) may help, too. My Baby Doesnt Want Me and Im The Mom!? This is painful, really painful. There are studies showing that babies that are being held a lot actually become independent faster. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! i am a younger mother who still lives with my mother. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. In fact she would scream and cry I will always take her out of her room and try to pacify her. Since she was born my parents have always been around helping and visiting. I am thankful that my MIL is there to help us out. Im so glad I found this post! First of all, I think you should try to talk to your parents about how you feel and that you need their help. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. It really upsets me because her dad or greatgrandmother can get her when she starts doing this to me and she is fine. Trust me, I feel it too now and then and husband even more, who has been the one NOT chosen especially by our youngest. I just want to know what I am doing wrong, so I can change it. Getting the Right Child Care. He will also frequently choose his dad over me. 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